WHY DO YOU CARE?

Recently, I was at my annual checkup with Doctor Martin, my family physician. We got connected during the COVID years and I found him to be extremely helpful in guiding my wife and me through the agonies of that COVID-19 infection. My long-term family doctor had recently retired, so this was a new relationship. Over these past few years, I have come to appreciate the time that Dr. Martin takes with me in his small exam rooms. Each room is equipped with a whiteboard on the wall which facilitates his scribbles and inexact drawings to communicate the intricacies of medical and physiological health strategies toward the goal of my understanding. We laugh, I cry at times, but I always come out of the sessions with a better understanding of my examination. While I do not know anything about his faith life or even if he has a relationship with the Lord, I know that he cares about me and does his best to advise me in all things related to my health - in other words, related to my living.

This last visit was not just the annual Medicare checkup, but follow-up on a month’s worth of diagnostic tests that he and my cardiologist ordered. The past month’s tests were driven by a recent stroke that I suffered: ultrasounds, echocardiograms, brain MRI, Transesophageal Echo (TEE), CT Cardiac Structure, CTA Coronary Arteries, barium swallow test, speech therapy and a two-week long heart monitoring process. Outside of the fact that the MRI showed that I had had two strokes, the results were, EVERYTHING IS NORMAL. Much of our discussion was centered around my frustration with the cardiologist who wanted to schedule me for a follow-up meeting to take place four months after he had received all the test diagnostics. I found that to be unreasonable. Here is a seven-minute video of how the conversation with my family doctor went. Do you agree with his arguments?

Doc Martin brought up an interesting point questioning what it is that we really care about. Obviously, we cannot care about everything or everyone equally. So, what determines what each of us really care about? Where do these cares come from? Are they all driven by self-interest? Are there such things as “God-gifted” cares or burdens that we are meant to carry out of a sense of calling?

Mostly, it seems to me that we care about those things or people closest to us – those things which we can touch and effect. With interpersonal relationships, we tend to assess importance through the metric of time invested. But then, we get into discussions about quality time. So, not all time expenditures have the same value. How we “spend” or use our time indicates the priority we give to that transaction, just like how we use money. What are we purchasing when we spend our time? Probably the things that we care about. Then, there are the things that we think we should spend more time doing or less time doing. What impedes adjusting our ways to incorporate those things into our behaviors? Probably, these are the things we don’t really care that much about.

The apostle Paul describes this condition in his letter to the Romans:

“What I don’t understand about myself is that I decide one way, but then I act another, doing things I absolutely despise. So if I can’t be trusted to figure out what is best for myself and then do it, it becomes obvious that God’s command is necessary.

^17–20 But I need something more! For if I know the law but still can’t keep it, and if the power of sin within me keeps sabotaging my best intentions, I obviously need help! I realize that I don’t have what it takes. I can will it, but I can’t do it. I decide to do good, but I don’t really do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway. My decisions, such as they are, don’t result in actions. Something has gone wrong deep within me and gets the better of me every time.

^21–23 It happens so regularly that it’s predictable. The moment I decide to do good, sin is there to trip me up. I truly delight in God’s commands, but it’s pretty obvious that not all of me joins in that delight. Parts of me covertly rebel, and just when I least expect it, they take charge.

²⁴ I’ve tried everything and nothing helps. I’m at the end of my rope. Is there no one who can do anything for me? Isn’t that the real question?

²⁵ The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does. He acted to set things right in this life of contradictions where I want to serve God with all my heart and mind, but am pulled by the influence of sin to do something totally different.”^[1]

When the doctor challenged me to quit caring so much, my response was, “I can’t!” Yet he insisted, “Yes, you can!” So, when Paul said, “I truly delight in God’s commands…”, was he not saying that he really cared? However, his confession was “…not all of me joins in that delight.” In other words, the apostle was saying that he immensely cared about God’s commands, but something in him prevented him from 100% compliance. Paul came to the conclusion that he was not fully capable of aligning his actions with his desires. When I was incapable of aligning the cardiologist’s actions to my desire for immediate feedback – I was offended. Yet, Doc Martin had just given me the results of all the testing ordered by the heart doctor. So, why did I care? In my case, I received all the answers from another messenger – one who would actually dummy down the results with his scribbles and pictures on the whiteboard so that I could best understand. What about offering up some gratitude, Mike, instead of complaining? What is my conclusion then? Perhaps, maybe I should more frequently ask myself the question: WHY DO YOU CARE?

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^[1] Eugene H. Peterson, The Message: The Bible in Contemporary Language (Colorado Springs, CO: NavPress, 2005), Ro 7:15–25.

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